Monday, July 30, 2007

Now I'm a tolerant sort of person, as anyone who knows me can agree to.

But, I really fucken detest these cunts on treadleys, wearing all the flash lycra, who insist on riding five abreast along public roads. Fucken dickheads.

And the wanker "officials" - try to wave me through a stop sign, 'cos the mob of treadly steriod munching cunts are behind me, and don't want to stop. Well guess what cunts. Generally, I stop at Stop signs, because often, there are vehicles that have right of way.

And so, Mr Yellowraincoat, I regard your traffic control skills, and your waving motions, with as much the same sort of credibility as I would a boong outside the Wiluna pub and merely hoped that you would not walk in front of me and cause me to run you over- possibly damaging the roo bar.

(Luckily, as a vehicle was approaching from the right.)

Awww. Poor cunts, had to stop, and go slow through town - (no speeding for this little black duck) - suck shit knobbers.

And the cockheads in fucken "escort vehicles" for the packs of dayglo cunts. Fuck off you wanna be escorts. You do not wave folks to pass on double lines on a blind corner.

But what really gets me is the fucken arrogance of these cunts. Blocking the traffic. And being arseholes about it.

(I once saw one lean on a car, so the feet didn't have to be taken off the pedals at a stop light. Take a hint. Try that to me cunt and I'll cut your fucken paw off.)

Guess what fuckers. If the road is not a formally closed road - you are subject to the normal "keep left" road rules. The whole fucken lot of ya's. And you are not allowed to obstruct the traffic. This is so that you do not get splattered by faster moving traffic, or cause dangerous situations by forcing people to the wrong side of the narrow winding, posted at 100Kmh, road, while you do a roaring 40, in a mob, and not moving over.

Cunts, you suck, get fucked.

I predict that one day, a truck will take out the fucken lot of ya. Hopefully with the 'officials' and 'escort vehicles' as well.

If I have a choice between oncoming 'real' traffic and a mob of arrogant dorks on treadleys, guess what dorks ......

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Friday, July 27, 2007

More rain. Fucken excellent. The River is in flood, highest it's been for a couple of years. This was my office for about seven years - in a past life as an outdoor adventure instructor. I used to love it when there were thunderstorms and hail while white water rafting. All, well most, of the clients would shut the fuck up and you could hear the hail pinging off the aluminium paddle handles. And the thunder rolling down the valley.
Of course I usually had to go for a dip when the silly cunts went arse up in the rapids, my wetsuit looked like a mad knife slasher had gone beserk on it. Cuts and slashes all over from bouncing off jagged rocks. Still I never lost anyone, and the River has claimed a few. Sometimes idiots try it on surfboards, usually not very succesfully. Some places have twenty foot high stationary waves. You have to know how to read the rapids, smiling waves are ok - as you get spat out from them; frowning waves keep you in them, and drag you under.
Best thing about the rain is most of the tourists fuck off and stay at their city homes. Cunts.


Sunday, July 15, 2007

Skippy the Flat Kangaroo.

"What's that Skip?"
"Tchh, tch tc...."
"Oh no. Bob is playing chicken with trucks? On the highway?"
"Tchk, tsh, tck..."
" Well that's that then. Fucken dumb cunt."

[If you've never seen "Skippy" - it had to be seen to be believed!!]

Friday, July 13, 2007

So, there I am, having a few quiet sherbets - as you do , when the phone rings...
Cunt on the other an Indian sounding and heavily accented voice -
"helloo, is this Mr Rackorf that i am to be speaking to"
Mr Rackorf - "who the fuck is this?"
Unidentified cunt - "My name is Michael Smith and I am informing you"
Mr Rackorf - "Fuck off. Michael Smith - my arse!! You're lying you cunt. That's not yore fucken name. What the fuck do you want?"
unidentified lying cunt - " i am informing you that.."
Rackorf - "Fucken inform me nothing you lying cunt. What the fuck do you want?"
unidentified lying cunt - " I am to be telling you that i am from Gold$#%%&^^& (unintelligable gibberish name)"
Rackorf - " What's that? You're from Gold Fuck??"
unidentified lying cunt - " NO! I'm not from Gold Fuck"
Rackorf - "Why are you swearing at me you cunt?"
unidentified lying cunt - " I'm not swearing at you"
Rackorf - "Yes you are. You said get fucked."
unidentified lying cunt - " No, these calls are recorded"
Rackorf - "Why did you tell me to get fucked then??"
unidentified lying cunt - " I didn't say fuck"
Rackorf- " You just said fuck again you fucken lying cunt"
unidentified lying cunt- "I'm not allowed to say fuck"
Rackorf - "Why the fuck do you keep swearing at me then you fucken lying cunt. That's three fucken times now?"
unidentified lying cunt - "when I see you.."
Rackorf - " Bring it on cunt. Come around. When I see you I'll fucken rearrange your head you lying cunt"
unidentified lying cunt- " Fucken cocksucking bitch"
Rackorf - " So what did you want to inform me Michael??"
unidentified lying cunt - dial tone...

I fucken love getting calls from these cunts.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Rackorfs' red hot fishing spot on a calm day.
I used to go out to the end of the rock point that you can see in the flicks, very slippery and treacherous rocks and due to the build up of sand over the years, the waves now are able to reach higher up, and at times over, the rock wall.
Last time, about ten years ago, when I went out there it was a bit hairy. I gave myself three "Oh fuck"s and had to duck down behind a handy rock as the waves came through (over). The last of which took my bait. Since then I haven't been to that particular spot. It's a real fucken shame though as there are some beaut fish to be had - real big cunts. Tailor mostly. Oh well, I'd rather live to fish another day and don't fancy the idea of being bounced off the rocks and trying to swim through the rips - especially with broken bits.
On some days the surfies ride the waves in and then ride the rebound back out - they go right up the rock face. I've seen the dolphins do the same.
Other days the rebound wave hits the incoming wave and creates a, sometimes thirty foot high, pyramid in the middle. At times the dolphins play in this and shoot out of the top of the pyramid.
On an average day fishing here I can catch about twenty or so good size fish - mostly herring, but depending on what I'm targeting also Tailor, Skippy, Whiting, Salmon, Mulloway and once a Pink Snapper.
I'm working from home today, but the sun is shining and the tides are good - so might just have to go and try my luck. Geez it's a fucken hard life.

Monday, July 09, 2007


It has come to the attention of the manufacturer that several models of our product are defective and require urgent recall. The products affected are the Mohamed (TM) range of doctors and pilots, several other affected ranges include the Achmed(TM), Mustafa(TM), Ibrahim(TM) and Yousef(TM) products.

It has been found that these products become unstable when exposed to other defective units and are liable to spontaniously combust or explode, especially in the vicinity of airports or other public areas.

If you have any of these defective units in your possession immediately segregate from other units in the range and palletize ready for shipment to the country of manufacture or the guatanamo bay disposal facility. Avoid sending by air.


Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Don't you love jumping in puddles?

Well not really jumping in them, but driving through them. Especially next to bus stops, with cunts waiting for the bus sitting there. Hahahaha. Fucken losers. Suck shit.

Sometimes you can go around the block and get them again.