Monday, October 31, 2005


had the fucken religious nuts come calling today...they couldn't possibly realize that maybe the only house in the street with a six foot high barbed wire topped fence and gate, just maybe might have it there for a stopping unwanted visitors and stopping unwanted visitors from getting eaten by the anti social dog....anyway when I suggested that they sneak out again before the dog noticed them..(he was snoozing in the sun out the back).. this arrogant cunt had the fucken audacity the say, in the smarmiest of voices, "well it hasn't noticed us yet has it"...yeh want to fucken bet..i thought as i give him a whistle...they looked funny falling over themselves to beat him to the gate, hahaha, the dog from hell gave them the full show complete with drooling and eye rolling.....if they roll up again, (probably be a while..they walked on the other side of the road for ages..must be a new lot)...i'll tell them that they are just in time to join in sacrificing a goat to keep the underworld happy , that'll probably do the trick ...maybe follow them back to their fucken home and subject them to my view on life, being an arrogant cunt while i'm at it...give the missus, (his), a squeeze on the tit to say gooday...any way mixed up some roundup and made a pentagram shape on the verge with it...nice and big...
this particular mob didn't have the kids in tow...that is usually a S.O.P. for them,,do they think that I will be sympathetic to their drivel 'cos they are dragging a kid around to complete strangers houses in 40 degree c heat..."what did you do on the weekend Johnnie?"..."got dargged around by my arsehole parents doing their hassle people god thingy" ya reckon that he might have some interesting issues later in life?....most of these cunts would be the first to drive straight past ya if ya needed hand...they have to spread the word..don't have time to give someone a they won't help me with the goat either...thank fuck that I live in a country where we can still tell them to fuck off...i bet that they would really, deep in their hearts, love to get their hands on some AK47's and encourage heaps of converts....they are not as extreme as some of the other fanatics, bet they would like a whole country full of believers though and it's only that the situation hasn't presented itself.....i reckon that the whole fucken lot should take themselves off to their relevent god asap and leave the rest of us to figure out our own view of life and moral code...(mine is basically, live and let live, help ya mates..and people in need -within reason..., stay in tune with the small things in nature..), seems to work for me...if my views offend anyone...too bad.. fuck off!

Saturday, October 29, 2005

fun in the city

might have to try some of these next time i go to the city...
More things to do on an elevator to unnerve your fellow elevator passengers:
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

found this gem here...
the engineers view of santa is pretty good too...

Friday, October 28, 2005

next holiday

i can feel a trip up north coming on...have to wait for it to cool down a bit, only a few months to go..meantime enjoy the vegie patch and try to not get taken out by any of the bad shit on the roads and industrial nightmares i am currently obliged to work on/in...the vegies have gone sick the last week and grown about 10cm on average. everything is actually looking healthy and vibrant..'cept for the cauliflowers..(yeah..i know that they are only about 35c in the shop, take up heaps of room and take ages to grow..but THE cauliflower i grew two years ago was to die for..absolutely perfect, flawless..even the leaves..not a bite missing...and absolutely NO pesticides or other poisens applied!!)..anyway as the corn grows it will attract the wasps when bugs, (cabbage moth), eat it..they get the bugs off the rest of the stuff as well....
fucked up a bit with the beans though, planted about twenty beans of a particular type..had the wrong type in mind ....nooow i remember that bean..the jack an the beanstalk bean
had one of them two seasons ago and it grew to about 20 ft high...and i've got 20 of them in!! couldn't grow much last year as there was a killer vine that the bloke next door planted..fucken come up everywhere and sucked all the water out of the soil, no shit the soil was like a coir mat with the cunts roots = no fresh veg...Back to this year..
along side the giant beans there are heaps of sunflowers interspersed with them...saves putting in posts ..they'll work it out!! thing is the lady bugs are breeding up again..(they like sunflowers for a habitat)...also they eat other, vegie eating bugs...the ducks and chooks are cleaning up the rest of the raiders, (snails/slugs)...still no sign of any rockmelons, sighhhhh...i've only managed to get them up once in six years...they got a bit bigger tham a baseball, then the 28 parrots came and bit everyone of them off..fucken flying rats..wouldn't mind if they took one and ate it all...but chew them off for the fun of it..still they are a sociable sort of bird and get somewhat "tame"....that word jars with me.. "tame"..what does that mean..subserviant, domesticated..bribed into interaction through offers of version is a voluntary interaction between species... nooft, my name for the dog that choose to live with me is an example of this..he does his own thing and is free to leave if he wishs...sometimes he goes on holidays, once for three months, he visits his mates, and who knows what else...i can tell that he would love to be able to tell me his adventures and in his own way he can...he has lived with me since he was little black mate grows old and grey around the head now and his bones give him gip..i'm glad that the weather is warming 'cos the cold doesn't agree with him nowadays...soon as it starts to get cold here again we are off up north for another adventure.. this one will be a ripper.....
have to fit out the ute with a big belly tank, (less fuel stops, less forced interaction with fuckhead tourists in camper vans ), solar panel and deep cycle gel battery...
was going to post a piccy of the last trip, however the computer says no..fucken thing..maybe next time.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

whistling kite

geez I need a camera that will let me capture shots like this properly , bit hard to get up close at the best of times, let alone 30ft up a dead tree.
Maybe a slung rope and wait at the top...anyway this is one of a pair of whistling kites that I see sometimes. Last year i saw them training thier young how to catch food on the wing...
so anyway..ther's a bushy goes fishing..catches a feed of fish and as he's cleaning the last of his catch ..up pops a nice big mudcrab ..the bushie gathers it up and sticks it in the back of his ute, chucks in the rest of his stuff and is just about to fuck off when, from out behind a tree pops a fisheries inspector.. i've got ya, catching muddies out of season!! .."what ya on about" says the bushie.. "wot's that in ya ute there, thats a mudcrab!".. says the inspector .."nah" says the bushie.."that's me pet 'bruce'. I bring him down for a swim, put him in the water...he has a swim, comes back and then we go home"..."look i'll show ya".. picks up 'bruce' and puts him back in the water.."off ya go for ya swim bruce..take care mate"... off goes 'bruce'...after a while looking at the water, the inspector says "see it wasn't a pet!! it didn't come back!!" goes the bushie .."what didn't ?"

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

surfin an' stuff

went out looking for pigs again today...the boys with dogs must be giving them heaps 'cos once again only old sign...this is in a spot where i always see them.. so went down to the river to have a look for a tiger snake that i've seen and photo'd before..not the day for wildlife , not even a fish rising..ended up surfin, the web, that is..not waves..(closest i've come to that was catching a surfie when i was fishing once..but thats another story) looking for images of work fuckups to use in fridays safety meeting...found a couple of rippers under why i lost my job today images..if anything like this happened at work all you could do would be to get ya stuff and leave....rounded out the day by mucking around making a knife that i'm working on...made out of damascus steel, hammer welded wire rope, with a tuart and brass handle...i should try selling some of my knives but usually fall in love with them and want to keep them...must be something to do with the creation pieces of scrap shit into a useful implement...i've given a couple away to mates but that seems different to selling them...

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

here piggy piggy

went out the bush yesterday to see if there were any pigs that wanted to play...didn't find any but there was heaps of old sign...i'd reckon that there are little piggys running around not that far away...i found little trotter tracks a couple of kays from yesterdays spot a week or so ago...might go there and have a look today...little pigs are pretty good to eat when they are oven size..anyways here a shot of a blackboy that has been harvested by a pig and another of "the bush"...this isn't as thick as some spots i go to but gives an idea of what my corner of the planet looks like..wasn't a real good day to be running round out there as it was pretty windy....makes it a bit dangerous as 'widowmaker' branches tend to drop in the wind...even a small one getting ya would totally fuck the day...a big one, like in the photo, and someone might find whats left of me in a few years, wouldn't even hear it coming..the pigs would have a feast though

Monday, October 24, 2005


yee har...friday today, for me anyway, everyone else thinks it's monday. The day started out pretty clear but then when the clouds came in they were fair movin'. I chased a cloud shadow up the road and it was doing 90 kmh. Had some more good rain from it. Hopefully the sun will reappear so that i can go and drown some bait!!
Clarrie the crow seems to have encouraged all his mates to fuck off and not visit, i wonder how long he will last before melting. I'd reckon maybe a couple of weeks max if it's cool..couple of days if we get some sun.
When he drops, he will be part of he new vegie patch annexation....slowly taking over the kikuyi grass..(did the yearly mowing of that shit the other day with a match)...some of it is ok in the chook pen - the back non-vegie patch bit of the yard, they like eating it and keep the level at a good height.
This year i am keeping a weekly photo log of the vegies so as to check out growth patterns in the various places. (background..this patch started out approx 3ft x 6 ft and is now 7m x 9m ,, the annaxation of the yard is intended to include all sunny patches.)

Saturday, October 22, 2005


what is the message here..heard a song on the radio a couple of weeks ago, (I have heard it before), but it suddenly seems significant somehow..."alicia rules the world" ..thinking about it , 'cos it'd been playing in my head all day and fuck me it comes on the tv as a backing track..did a web search on the song , haven't checked out the singer yet,don't know who she is, but ended up reading a blog with the name in it ....hence "fromthecave", now the new weather girl on the news is called....yeah you got it..alicia!! just as i was thinking about the someone or something trying to tell me something?
well 'cos this blog thing sort of started from that, i thought that i might as well chuck it in here..maybe that was the intent...anyway if there is an alicia reading this, somewhere in cyberspace,,hi there..get in touch if you like..maybe you have had a similar experiance.
maybe it's just my imagination...

spring decorations

one of the ducks has had five babies...she lives here and wherever else she feels like, the fence i have is only to keep predators out, if the ducks, dogs, chooks want to get out and have a look at the world so be it. anything that chooses to live here in harmony with everything else is welcome, birds , bees, lizards, frogs.. any predators beware cos my welcome visitors and friends are under my protection
she was here with her babies and one of the local crow gang dropped over for tea, he had an enjoyable entree of eggs then decided on a main of "baby duck a la natural", he didn't get to try it 'cos he suddenly felt a bit crook and had to have a lie down,,,caused a bit of a rucus when all his mates came round for a look and a squawrk!! fuck them the dirty cunts of things, they even peck the eyes out of new lambs.
shame the location is no good for a shotty 'cos i'd have got about fourty of the fuckers.
i think that i saw a cat prowling around as well earlier..we'll see..

Thursday, October 20, 2005


managed to get a slab of granite dropped on my thumb today...didn't hurt so much but went instantly black and was pissing blood everywhere...great stuff, even better 'cos i'm the safety dude and usually fill out reports on other peoples incidents..gets even better 'cos i also had to attend two separate safety meetings..didn't they give me heaps of shit stirring!!
came home to a funny email though, i reckon its a beauty....

Subject: Ronnier BarkerThought you might enjoy this:In memory of a very funny man.....This was originally shown on on BBC TV back in the seventies. RonnieBarker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows after how many takes)The irony is that they received not one complaint. Must have been the speed ofdelivery was too much for the whining herds.

Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read ....
> > This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.> >> > Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella> > worked very hard frubbing scloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling> > shot.> > At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.> >> > The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,> > and> > the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;> > they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to> > go> > to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.> >> > Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her> > name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned> > a> > pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy> > ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks> >> > The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,> > there would be a cucking falamity.> >> > At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when> > suddenly> > the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said> > Rindercella,> > and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass> > glipper.> >> > The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and> > the> > sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and> > let> > off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame> > that> > fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud> > had> > lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without> > success> > and their feet stucking funk.> >> > Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a> > knack> > in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and> > a> > hig bard on.> >> > He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking> > ferfectly.> >> > Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince> > lived> > his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen> > swanny.> >> > RIP> >> >> > Cheers,


Wednesday, October 19, 2005

wish i was fishing

another cracker of a day... just got to look at the water though, and only get to think about the fishing...tomorrows meant to be even better.. i have to go to meetings and friday is meant to rain...oh well it's good for the vegies and it doesn't often rain all day at this time of year...if it does rain i will go out the bush and look for pigs. ..i used to hunt them with guns and knives but am now trying to get mainly photos, now thats a buzz...have to keep a good eye out for a likely tree to get up quick...there was a guy down collie way that didn't get up a tree fast enough and a pig bit his calf out, well it left a chunk of swinging meat with a bit missing....

if you do happen to actually read my blog, feel free to comment, maybe even say gooday. after all surely the idea of a www is communication...are there any other hillbillies out there?(email

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

cruisy day

nice cruisy day ...sun shining, birds singing....real friendly emu on the trip today, not often that you can give them a pat!
i was hoping to see 'bert' the bungarra but he was being anti social time i see him i'll get a close up photo, and hopefully not get bitten as they have a good set of teeth, sort of like mini white pointer.
all the roo's were anti-social today as well, yesterday there was heaps of them just sitting and looking. ..maybe they've moved more into the scrub for a bit more shade..

Monday, October 17, 2005

ramblings from the bush

went up the big smoke the other day...fucken shithole...
fuck the city..out here in the bush spring is happening, the vegie patch is starting to grow again - useless fucken tourists roll up in town with their obnoxious youngsters, clogging up the town and dropping their rubbish everywhere..
used to be that in the winter they didn't show up at all, times change but and maybe further out is the go for me.
meantime here is now and the focus is on the changing of the season, wildflowers to dream of , everytime i go for a walk i see flowers that are new to me, this is after growing up and spending 35 or so years amongst the jarrah forest and hills. This one was low to the ground and about 7mm across, never seen this one before.