Tuesday, January 31, 2006

other drivers

don't some of the cunts driving around just need a good crack in the head...like the fuckwit tailgating me today - 2 foot off my arse- and the cunt's looking in his fucking mirror...all over the road and then overtook me (I'm doing ten over the limit), on double white lines to tailgate the truck in 30 foot in front of me....did the same to him and wobbled off up the road..geez it'd be nice to have come around a corner and found the fuckwit eating a tree...ya could torment the cunt a little then set fire to the wreck...one less dickhead trying to kill other people.
Sometimes I would like to still be driving trucks..at least they're relatively fuckwit derived impact resistant... long nose kenworth with huge bullbar : 1, fuckhead cunt in commodoor : 0.

todays catagory is the pisshead that sat up all night drinking piss, has woken up late and is speeding to get to work, (that'd be interesting to work around on an industrial strip- refinerys full of bad shit - acids, fumes and a thousand others)

another few that piss me off are;

"the dangly shit hanging from the mirrror cunts" - mostly new age braindead sheila's that believe thier dangly shit is going to protect them in white light..so they don't have to worry too much about steering and stuff, they can fluff their hair and fuck around with the radio, bop along to the radio..all the while the dangly shit desentitises them to movements from the side roads..then they act surprised that they had a prang

"the first ever bunky road warrior cunt" - just got my new car..it's a datto thats fucked but i'll spend heaps on a doof-doof sound sytem, fit fat tyres and a loud exhaust. then try to do burnout's that are just a little cheeep and lurch. too busy looking at themselves, pulling their dicks and doofing to worry about where they are going

"the flashed up new nissan sports road warrior cunt" - as above 'cept for a flasho sports car with a turbo that their rich old man just got them.. spoilt all their lives and can't drive for shit..but they think they can..

"the horse trailer cunts"- why don't you use a backroad for crawling down at 50 below the limit you fuckheads? can't you see the line of traffic that stretches back five kays and you fucken speed up when there's a passing lane..had a mate following one once and the horse fell through the floor of the float - at 70kmh - ground it's legs off and despite efforts to let them know, were oblivious to the flashing headlights and horn..fucken serve them right . ignorant cunts.

"caravan cunts" - as above, cept for the "Flo and Kev - channnel 13" on the back.. that you get to look at for fucking miles and wish that you had a two way, ...next time i will..."hey flo and kev, got ya ears on?"..."yes we have, how are you going?".."well ya see kev thats the fucking thing. I'm not really going as well as I could be, like at 110 as opposed to your 70 fucking km an hour, but you see I can't, 'cos some ignorant cunt is totally oblious to the fact that he is fucking up my day, as well as everyone else's in the fucken traffic jam behind them, so kev..why doncha pull over and let us go past you fucking rude ignorant cunt..you too fucken flo...fucking get out of the way you cunts", "......" , "yes kev, you! you fucken braindead cunt if you don't get out of the way I'm going to tip your fucken caravan cunt up with my bullbar then stalk ya with me truck like in that movie GET OUT OFF THE WAY NOW KEV "

"cunts that wear hats while driving" - lots of volvo drivers in this one- what can I say..worse if they are in multiples in the same car..they all talk a lot while having to look at each other...take a taxi to ya fucken social club or bowling or fucken whatever...dangerous cunts....farmer joe..use a back road ya cunt

well it's not a full list but it's a start..any other suggestions? What could be done to rid our streets of the scurge of braindead steerers?

An option that might have some marketing appeal might be to put them all in a methonol fueled demolition derby, caravans are towed by V-8's on full throttle, where they can smack the shit out of each other with their cunty driving habits and foxtel can broadcast it," yeah give it to it kev ya cunt!"

Monday, January 30, 2006

the dorky nephew

Had my useless nephew ask me for a reference....ok here you go..

I have known Daniel for a number of years and would like to say that he has an excellent work ethic, and is one of the most proactive, focused and organized young people that I have had the pleasure to meet, however I an unable to.

The reality is that he must be constantly supervised to produce any resemblance of an effort at work, with his capacity for avoiding work being only surpassed by the constant excuses as to why something did not happen. (see Work®). His work ethic is non existent and, in the main, the only results that will be produced after much whining and excuses are a sad effigy of what a product produced with pride and effort should look like, if at all.

He has basically no usable skills and seems unwilling to learn any skills or accept any advice as to how develop any skills. In the time that I have known him he has never held a real job and has absolutely no concept of the idea of having to work in order to get ahead in life.(see “Daniel World”®)

Daniels career highlight so far has been learning how to wash dishes at the ripe old age of twenty!! Excellent achievement on a Daniel scale, as previously ...”I’m not very good at washing dishes” was the extent of the knowledge of this area. However the promise of sudden and graphic violence upon his person increased his desire to gain new skills in this field.

Daniel’s main career goal seems to be on his own comfort and wellbeing with the minimum of effort expended on his behalf, after all, in “Daniel World”®, everyone is there to serve you while you loll around trying not to think about icky things like working, helping out or deadlines..(see references... x ..work)


Daniel World®, a mythical place to everyone else in the world, where everyone else, (see Servants®), is there to serve you while you loll around trying not to think about icky things like working, helping out or deadlines..(see references .Work®)

Work® –thing associated with effort of any sort, to be avoided at all costs!!, lie and dodge as much as possible, (unless to do with computer games or other relaxation pursuits) and focus more on the important issues of the day, such as what the Servants ® are going to provide for food ( see reference..food®, Servants®)

Food® ..stuff that appears by magic on a table....to be taken advantage of at all costs.. method; take the most that is within reach..(make sure that you don’t miss a good bit – someone else might get it!!), ignore everyone else..they might want some too. .don’t they know it’s yours!! Leave whatever is on your plate that you can’t fit in, (no-one else will want it now ay! But I’m ok).. After food ..grudgingly pursue new skill, washing up (only at night time but because no-one said everything about allll the meals) (see Work®)

Servants® - beings that appear with food, sometimes ask for assistance with their menial tasks, method: ignore anything but food or thingys relating to personal comfort or well being...in case of appeal for assistance see Work®

so there's ya reference you fucking useless bludging cunt.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

bushfire smoke

the fire is to the side where the predominant wind direction comes from in the arvo at this time of year and about 7km away, this day the wind stayed in the opposite direction to usual and the next day we get two inches of rain.

after the fire

after the fire it has been, well, fucking excellent...all the tourists have gone home 'cos the river reserve has been closed....the river reserve has also been missed by the fire....
yesterday was a nice warm summers day so I loaded up a couple of beers and headed off down some tracks...surprisingly I ended up in the back off the river reserve at a nice little spot I know, sandy beach, bit of shade, birds singing...and best of all no fucken tourists to annoy me with their screaming, and general acts of dickheadishness...(there's a tree where I parked that some brainless cunt had ringbarked with an axe...what is going on in their heads...it'd be the axe if I saw them)...
spent a nice afternoon kicking back in the sun with my boots off and toes in the water....thought about getting minnowed up and going for a redfin but was too relaxed to be bothered..
it'd be nice if the river was like ten years ago when there was bugger all tourists down there, just the locals doing the right thing and enjoying it....now it's all broken glass and rubbish, fuckheads lighting fires and crashing their cars, (although if they only total their vehicle it's a laugh, as my mate gets paid to tow it away..then we check out the damage..seen some fucken beauties too...one was a sheila whose glasses were found on the seat, (she was wearing them at the time of impact), they were in pretty good shape except for one lens had a hole like a bullet hole punched in it ..from the inside...we ended up guessing that her eyeball must have jumped out a bit and impacted the glass in just that spot with the right amount of force...

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

the map

I reckon that the little world map thing is interesting, get to see where all the web folks that look and don't talk come from, not that i really care if they don't.
Anyway, the smoke from the bushfire, (going since sunday), is so thick that you can't see 150 meters and it's pissing down with rain..in the middle of a strange cool summer...we've had over two inches today....can't make it out 'cos of the smoke though...glad it happened though, (the rain), as yesterday we were on red alert and I was out in the yard hosing down the dry bits, garden beds and filling gutters..the wind was kind and the beast didn't come..

Friday, January 20, 2006

our cousin's

a kiwi bloke walks into his bedroom, where his wife is reading in bed, with a sheep under his arm and says..."this is the pig that I fuck when I'm not making love to you darling" ...his wife looks up and says " I think that you will find it's a sheep" ..he replies " I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you"

Thursday, January 19, 2006


thought that I'd try out the map thingy. so far i'm the only one in the www that visits this blog..and that's ok. would be kind of nice to see 'dots' from around the world appear though. I suppose my dot will get bigger the more that i post, hahaha, eventual world domination by a dot .

Saturday, January 14, 2006

scientific research- yeah right

watched the jap whalers on the news last night..six fucken shots to shoot a whale in the tail..for scientific research.. just as well 'cos the poor cunt would be a bit fucken tough for eating, what with the trashing around with it's tail half hanging off ...
fair fucken dinkum I feel like joining the sea shepperd mob and helping to fuck up their operations, might as well get a few of the cunts that fin sharks and dump them alive and bleeding after having their fins cut off while we're at it...
Don't get me wrong, I like a feed of meat or fish or shark and while i don't give a fuck whether it's looking at mecca or not, i'd prefer the critter to have a quick and painless exit..and to be fully utilized..
and when there are fuck all of that particular type of critter left...leave them the fuck alone...

Thursday, January 12, 2006

I read somewhere that muslims are allowed to fuck ewes, (and female goats -whatever you call them), if they don't have a woman. This is all ok. But if they fuck a ram they are sick cunts and get stoned to death. Must be an interesting place to live, everyone checking out who's fucking whose livestock. Wonder what the new-zealanders reckon, or is it anything goes over there.

Monday, January 02, 2006


a mate had some trouble with the local indigenous population a few years ago up in the midwest town where he was living..they nicked a heap of tools and cash, (saved up for a bike)...they were seen....so pugs grabs the loader and sets off to their house..when he gets there they are pulling up in a station wagon so he drops the bucket on it's roof...reckons that they were flying out everywhere..then they all bolt into the house....so pugs just drives it through the house..as ya do!...most of the locals reckoned that he'd done a great job after putting up with years of anti social goings on from them..the local cops took a dim view of proceedings and sent him to the bin for a couple of years..
pugs had a bike prang later in life and is effectively a vegetable now, and for a while now...still remembered as the top bloke he was by his mates..