ouch
managed to get a slab of granite dropped on my thumb today...didn't hurt so much but went instantly black and was pissing blood everywhere...great stuff, even better 'cos i'm the safety dude and usually fill out reports on other peoples incidents..gets even better 'cos i also had to attend two separate safety meetings..didn't they give me heaps of shit stirring!!
came home to a funny email though, i reckon its a beauty....
Subject: Ronnier BarkerThought you might enjoy this:In memory of a very funny man.....This was originally shown on on BBC TV back in the seventies. RonnieBarker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows after how many takes)The irony is that they received not one complaint. Must have been the speed ofdelivery was too much for the whining herds.
Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read ....
> > This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.> >> > Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella> > worked very hard frubbing scloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling> > shot.> > At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.> >> > The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,> > and> > the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;> > they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to> > go> > to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.> >> > Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her> > name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned> > a> > pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy> > ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks> >> > The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,> > there would be a cucking falamity.> >> > At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when> > suddenly> > the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said> > Rindercella,> > and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass> > glipper.> >> > The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and> > the> > sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and> > let> > off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame> > that> > fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud> > had> > lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without> > success> > and their feet stucking funk.> >> > Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a> > knack> > in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and> > a> > hig bard on.> >> > He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking> > ferfectly.> >> > Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince> > lived> > his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen> > swanny.> >> > RIP> >> >> > Cheers,
--
came home to a funny email though, i reckon its a beauty....
Subject: Ronnier BarkerThought you might enjoy this:In memory of a very funny man.....This was originally shown on on BBC TV back in the seventies. RonnieBarker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows after how many takes)The irony is that they received not one complaint. Must have been the speed ofdelivery was too much for the whining herds.
Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read ....
> > This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.> >> > Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella> > worked very hard frubbing scloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling> > shot.> > At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.> >> > The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,> > and> > the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;> > they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to> > go> > to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.> >> > Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her> > name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned> > a> > pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy> > ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks> >> > The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,> > there would be a cucking falamity.> >> > At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when> > suddenly> > the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said> > Rindercella,> > and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass> > glipper.> >> > The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and> > the> > sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and> > let> > off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame> > that> > fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud> > had> > lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without> > success> > and their feet stucking funk.> >> > Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a> > knack> > in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and> > a> > hig bard on.> >> > He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking> > ferfectly.> >> > Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince> > lived> > his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen> > swanny.> >> > RIP> >> >> > Cheers,
--
posted by rackorf at 2:03 AM
14 Comments:
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