Thursday, December 28, 2006

Saint Isabella - or she should be.

Mrs Beetons' ideas and ideals should be taught in schools as a mandatory subject for young women.

For some reason I usually, (just about always), get a negative reaction from women that I enlighten on the subject - fucked if I can work them out.

So here is a comprehensive list of things that every woman should do in the new year;
  • Get a copy of the book ,( http://www.mrsbeeton.com/ )
  • Study it, (as the muslims do the Koran)
  • Do as it says
  • That's it.
:)

16 Comments:

Blogger Debstar said...

Then smack the halfwit who suggested it around the head with it. I've seen one of the original copies and its huge so it should come in handy for braining halfwits.

2:48 AM  
Blogger rackorf said...

Awww, debs - you had an original copy and let it slip through your grasp, a wonderful tome of information. Sigh...

3:28 AM  
Blogger concerned citizen said...

I looked it over.
Couldn't find anything about where she has sex. Obviously, the poor woman is too exausted at the end of the day for that.

8:42 AM  
Blogger little things said...

Um. I'm about to check out the link. Wish me luck.

8:44 AM  
Blogger little things said...

Good lord. If studying that book enables me to develop the fortune to hire all those assistants to help this poor single mother of four - then I'm all over it.

8:52 AM  
Blogger Debstar said...

Yeah, but she was dead at 28. Not much point having a mass of assistants running around after 4 kiddies if you're dead.
Rackoff, I bet she doesn't know how to bait a hook either. She's too busy making a quiche with 12 eggs, and what's the point in that when we all know Real Men Don't Eat Quiche.

4:05 AM  
Blogger little things said...

Hehehe debstar. Good points!

10:10 AM  
Blogger Arcturus said...

I'm afraid this entry lost me... who is Saint Isabella? And whois Mrs Beeton? (Is there, by the way, a Mrs. Rackorf?)

Anyway, re. your prev. entry , here is the Ebonics version of "The Night Before Christmas" -- sorry if it is too long. I think it's a riot. (The "West Side" I think refers to the better part of town.)


Twas da night befo' Christmas and all in the hood /Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good /The tube socks was hung on the window sill
and we all had smiles up on our grill

Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib
in the back bedroom cuz that's how we live/ and moms in her do-rag and me with my nine /had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine

All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by /
Bumpin phat beats cuz the system's fly /I bounced to the window at a quarter pas'/Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's--
well anyway

I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this!/She said, Stop frontin just mind yo' bidness/ I said, for real doe, come check dis out/ We weren't even buggin, no worries, no doubt

Cuz bumpin an thumpin' from around da way /Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh / Da beats was kickin, da ride was phat/ I said, Yo red Dawg, you all that!

He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz,/"Ay yo, give it up, let's make some noise!/ To the top of the projects and across the strip mall,
We gots ta go, I got a booty call!"

He pulled up his ride on the top a da roof/ and sippin on a 40, he busted a move/ I yelled up to Santa, "Yo ain't got no stack!" /he said, "Damn homie, deese projects is wack!

But don't worry black, cuz I gots da skillz/ I learnt back when I hadda pay da billz."/ Out from his bag he pulled 3 small tings /a credit card, a knife, and a bobby pin.

he slid down the fire escape smoove as a cat/ and busted the window with a b-ball bat/ I said, "Whassup, Santa? Whydya bust my place?"/ he said,"You best get on up out my face!"

His threads was all leatha, his chains was all gold/ His sneaks was Puma and they was 5 years old/ He dropped down the duffle, Clippers logo on the side/
Santa broke out da loot and my mouf /popped open wide.

A wink of his eye and a shine off his god toof/ He cabbage patched his way back onto the roof/ He jumped in his hooptie with rims made of chrome/ To tap that booty waitin at home

and all I heard as he cruised outta sight/ was a loud and hearty.....
"WEEESST SIIIIDE!!!!!!!"

3:02 PM  
Blogger rackorf said...

Hey Deb - Why would she need to know how to bait a hook? Men hunt and drink beer. Women gather berries and cook, although why she would be cooking a 12 egg quiche I don't know - real men don't eat quiche - maybe she's blonde.


Nice pic little things ;)

Nice rap arc. - no Mrs Rackorf but there has been some near misses:)

9:41 PM  
Blogger little things said...

Hey, I'm blonde...what as that comment all about? And I pay good money for it, darnit!

11:21 AM  
Blogger rackorf said...

Hehehe - Just fishing little things :)

1:36 PM  
Blogger Debstar said...

Hey I just though of one more thing you could do with this book......

BURN IT

I could use it to cook my fish. hehehehe

11:24 PM  
Blogger concerned citizen said...

Oh BTW, A humpback whale up ya!

10:18 AM  
Blogger concerned citizen said...

Whoops! Am I going too fast? should I have inserted a dolfin, first?

it's hard to get the hang of this one-up-manship.

10:18 AM  
Blogger rackorf said...

There'll be no insertions around here!!

2:17 PM  
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2:44 PM  

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