Friday, December 08, 2006

The dog.

He's lived with me since he was born, Never worn a collar, ( Had to put a fucken lead on him once at the vets (rules) - should have seen the look he give me - (I took it off again. )
We can 'talk' through eye contact (only one for him now) and hand signals. He can stalk a pig, from five foot behind -as it's going along - or attack things on a signal - or his own will - I trust his judgement. He has been fighting another dog and I have told him to stop and he will - and just stand there and let the other dog bite and carry on till its owner gets it off...if they don't get in there quick though I turn him back on again and he bashes them.

His mother, had an interesting name - So there I am and have to take her to the vet at one time, "whats her name" says the snotty sheila behind the counter - "You don't want to know" says me - there's about twenty people in the small waiting room.
"But we really must have her name for our records and the immunisation card..." Fuck it then here ya go- "Cunty ; C - U - N - T -Y ; Cunty" You could've heard a fucking pin drop. The sheila goes bright red and quickly fills out the paperwork. Her immunisation card had cunty as the name. hahahaha, fucken pushy mole.

His great grandfather was 'hector the junk yard dog' - he had real devil dog eyes and was renowned for being a fierce cunt. Hector was not a fan of the local idigenous population, which was all well and good, as they stayed well clear of him. Not quite clear enough for Hector though, and he took to hunting them in the surrounding streets. Eventually, after one epic episode that culmunated with half a dozen of them bailed up and bleeding for an hour or so till they were rescued, they all whinged to the ranger. Hector ended up on death row and was shot at dawn.

His grandfather - Bomber - used to have some adventures as well. I was walking around a dam once looking for pig tracks and floating in the water is a huge fucken boomer. Dead as a maggot.
On the bank, about six feet away, are his nuts. The tracks told the story...when a roo has a dog after it they will often head for a dam, jump in, grab the dog and drown it - that is what this fella had tried. On his last leap before the water, and successful inplementation of his plan, it all turned to shit as his nuts were ripped off by bombers teeth. End of story for the boomer.

So the old dog has a colourful family history and has had many of his own adventures and fights. I had to get his nuts cut out a year or so back as he was rooting the local bitches (that's ok) - bashing the other local dogs (that's ok - they all enjoy it)- and growling at and sometimes biting the other dog owners - in their own yards (not so ok).

The poor old cunt has more of a sneer than a 'smile' now. He still commands respect though - not too many can approach him on his turf. He still enjoys giving people a nip to get a reaction and if people show him any fear he will make their life a misery every time he sees them. The funny little fucker has a warped sense of humour!! (I like it).


Blogger L>T said...

I know you are fond of him but that is one damn ugly dog! He looks like a pirates dog or something. How many legs does he have? 3?

One thing I can say he has character. ;]

8:27 PM  
Blogger rackorf said...

Amazingly he still has four legs despite years of trying to get them bitten off. I had to fix a big deep bite gash on his front leg once - shaved the area, cleaned it up - put two bands aids on in a cross shape to hold it shut- told him too leave it alone and went off for a few days. When I got back the band aids where still untouched and in place and his leg was healed up.
Yep the cute little puppy is a character.

8:39 PM  
Blogger L>T said...

Have you heard that old saying about people resembling their dogs(or visa versa)after a while? Is that true?

9:24 PM  
Blogger rackorf said...

Yes. Do you have a dog?

3:35 AM  
Blogger L>T said...

no. I killed the last one. Well, had him put to sleep, as they say.
Sometimes now, around here I'm referred to as the dog murderer.
All I can say about that is when I get old & stinky & have to set down & scratch myself every 5 steps, I hope someone has the balls to put me to sleep.

He was one of those Llasa ahpos(?).

3:49 AM  
Blogger it's the little things said...

Do you want another dog? I have a fierce killer dog living in a sad little subdivision in Texas. The crotchety old neighbors regularly call the city on me because he 'barks'.
This month he has killed numerous lizards, several baby possums and a rat.
Sounds like your dog has his ideal life.

8:10 AM  
Blogger rackorf said...

l>t -the dog murderer:( I get asked all the time to 'get rid of' unwanted dogs for people, and I do. Most of the time they are untrained heaps of shit that are a nuisance. (I also do a roaring trade in cat removals).

little things- I am on first name terms with the local rangers here as well, they haven't been able to catch my little mate ever. They race around to my place but he beats them here, gets behind the fence and turns into the guard dog and won't let them in. If I'm at home I just ignore them yelling out and they go away after a bit:)

3:12 PM  
Blogger L>T said...

rackorf You are so fucking funny! I swear, you would more then fit in here. We'd worship you!

Don't get me wrong about animals I LOOOOve them.

5:25 PM  
Blogger Leann said...

my family have birds and cats living on the same farm.and you know if you tell your animals what you want and don,t want they get the message.I had a bird and cat in the same house.the cat would sit near the bird and take her nap.she loved to hear the bird sing.I have had alot of animals in my life.and they aren,t mindless killing machines on less you make them that way.

5:28 PM  
Blogger Arcturus said...

Wait -- did you delete and repost the Dec. 11 entry because this entry wasn't there on Thursday ... I woulda saw that picture of your pooch.

By the way, Cunty (charming name) looks more like a wild dingo. That is a dingo, right? A lovable, huggable, sweet dingo ... yeah, right!

1:14 PM  
Blogger rackorf said...

It was there all the time - well at this end anyway. It was his dear old mum that was called Cunty, (got a nice ring to it ay- bet you can't guess who came up with that one).

10:56 PM  
Blogger it's the little things said...

My dog kills no matter what. If I bring out the hose to clean the deck, he knows exactly where to stand to catch the lizards as they run out for air.
He has killed one of our guinea pigs, leaving only the head and the arm bone on the deck for us to find. We put the others up where he can't get to them.
No matter what I do, or don't do, he kills. I didn't raise him that way...he is just that way.

8:56 AM  
Blogger rackorf said...

Once they get the killing bug they will kill all the time. If they team up with a like minded dog they can egg each other on to greater heights. There was somewhere down south last week where two dogs killed something like sixty sheep in one night.
There is only one way to cure them of the bug that I know, and recommend - as who knows when they might have a go at a kid.

1:07 PM  
Blogger hillbillyses said...

well i think your poor one eyed dog would be flat out tying to chew a bowl of mince

3:32 PM  
Blogger hillbillyses said...

that wasnt very nice to the doggy, poor old one eye fleabag

8:56 PM  
Blogger rackorf said...

ahhh yes, but in his day...

4:08 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home