The dog.

He's lived with me since he was born, Never worn a collar, ( Had to put a fucken lead on him once at the vets (rules) - should have seen the look he give me - (I took it off again. )
We can 'talk' through eye contact (only one for him now) and hand signals. He can stalk a pig, from five foot behind -as it's going along - or attack things on a signal - or his own will - I trust his judgement. He has been fighting another dog and I have told him to stop and he will - and just stand there and let the other dog bite and carry on till its owner gets it off...if they don't get in there quick though I turn him back on again and he bashes them.

His mother, had an interesting name - So there I am and have to take her to the vet at one time, "whats her name" says the snotty sheila behind the counter - "You don't want to know" says me - there's about twenty people in the small waiting room.
"But we really must have her name for our records and the immunisation card..." Fuck it then here ya go- "Cunty ; C - U - N - T -Y ; Cunty" You could've heard a fucking pin drop. The sheila goes bright red and quickly fills out the paperwork. Her immunisation card had cunty as the name. hahahaha, fucken pushy mole.

His great grandfather was 'hector the junk yard dog' - he had real devil dog eyes and was renowned for being a fierce cunt. Hector was not a fan of the local idigenous population, which was all well and good, as they stayed well clear of him. Not quite clear enough for Hector though, and he took to hunting them in the surrounding streets. Eventually, after one epic episode that culmunated with half a dozen of them bailed up and bleeding for an hour or so till they were rescued, they all whinged to the ranger. Hector ended up on death row and was shot at dawn.

His grandfather - Bomber - used to have some adventures as well. I was walking around a dam once looking for pig tracks and floating in the water is a huge fucken boomer. Dead as a maggot.
On the bank, about six feet away, are his nuts. The tracks told the story...when a roo has a dog after it they will often head for a dam, jump in, grab the dog and drown it - that is what this fella had tried. On his last leap before the water, and successful inplementation of his plan, it all turned to shit as his nuts were ripped off by bombers teeth. End of story for the boomer.

So the old dog has a colourful family history and has had many of his own adventures and fights. I had to get his nuts cut out a year or so back as he was rooting the local bitches (that's ok) - bashing the other local dogs (that's ok - they all enjoy it)- and growling at and sometimes biting the other dog owners - in their own yards (not so ok).

The poor old cunt has more of a sneer than a 'smile' now. He still commands respect though - not too many can approach him on his turf. He still enjoys giving people a nip to get a reaction and if people show him any fear he will make their life a misery every time he sees them. The funny little fucker has a warped sense of humour!! (I like it).