Well today I bit the fucken bullet and did the Chrissie cheer bit.
Yep. Down to the shops in the big smoke. Where you can find those small, but exotic and thoughtful, items of wonderment for the recipient.
It's pretty fucken hard though. This going to the fucken shops lark. 'Specially at this time of year.
Cunts fucken everywhere, blocking up the show.
Still I managed to find some exquisite baubles to delight when they are unexpectedly received by the recipients....
Ribbed and flavored condoms.
Imported canned smoked salmon.
Premium gourmet mixed nuts.
A can of cat food.
A large tin of boot polish.
A frozen chook.
Ergonomic mousetraps (6 pack).
A box of tampons.
Dolly Parton's Greatest Hits CD.
2 pairs of orange jocks.
1 pair of socks ( one long red, one short green).
Although it is rare that I get to see the wonderment and surprise on their faces when they see their gift, it is definitely worth it.
Even if it's just the challenge of slipping it in the trolley when they aren't looking ;)
Yep. Down to the shops in the big smoke. Where you can find those small, but exotic and thoughtful, items of wonderment for the recipient.
It's pretty fucken hard though. This going to the fucken shops lark. 'Specially at this time of year.
Cunts fucken everywhere, blocking up the show.
Still I managed to find some exquisite baubles to delight when they are unexpectedly received by the recipients....
Ribbed and flavored condoms.
Imported canned smoked salmon.
Premium gourmet mixed nuts.
A can of cat food.
A large tin of boot polish.
A frozen chook.
Ergonomic mousetraps (6 pack).
A box of tampons.
Dolly Parton's Greatest Hits CD.
2 pairs of orange jocks.
1 pair of socks ( one long red, one short green).
Although it is rare that I get to see the wonderment and surprise on their faces when they see their gift, it is definitely worth it.
Even if it's just the challenge of slipping it in the trolley when they aren't looking ;)
posted by rackorf at 3:01 AM
14 Comments:
Buuuurrrrrrrrpp
Oooh, which one is mine?
Would you prefer the cat food or the mismatched socks?
considering out pet mouse is pregnant...i might need the mousetraps. i'm sure they're 'catch and release' right?
ah rack, you are a funny mofo.
merry christmas you cunt!
love and lap dances, kitty
xx
I'm getting you the same thing I got you last year.
Hey little things it sounds like you need the "Acme home surgery 101" kit - that should enable you to fix the mouse. (twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, was the wailing and screaming of the once pregnant mouse)
Thanks Kitty, you've given me a Christmas tree ;) Have a merry one ya'self
Funny that handmaiden, I'm getting you the same thing as well...
To whom are you giving flavored condoms?
Regardless, it was nice to read Rackorf getting into the spirit of the holidays, at least a little bit.
Oh, yes, if you like, please update my blogger link to the new URL. I changed it two weeks ago. "notes" was changed to "arcana"
Ho ho ho.
Merry Xmas.
Fuck me, LT...that slutty mouse of yours is always pregnant.
You're so trashy...
I actually slipped the flavored condoms into a little old grannies trolley when she wasn't looking.
It's nice to pick a suitable recipient for a surprise.
I've just make up a nicely wrapped box and I'm off armed with this to ask my mates little kids if they would like some donuts - then I'll give them the box and when they open it and find it empty I can explain how it only has the donut holes in it 'cos they are better for your teeth. Enjoy them kids!!
Ho Ho Ho.
I gather you don't like the surgery kit then little thingy????
What's a trolley?
Hi Racky
I've moved...come visit me.
Merry Christmas!
A trolley is one of those things that is cleverly designed to hold your items of shopping and act like a complete cunt by never going in a straight line without a lot of effort. They are also a useful training aid for teaching women how to walk on their hind legs.
Happy hangovers to all...
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