Monday, October 09, 2006

There's no place like home. Airports are like getting stuck in a shopping center where you cannot leave, and I detest shopping centers - or anywhere where there are heaps of people. I 'spose I was lucky not to have any fat cunts sit next to me on the plane - thank fuck for that. My rule on planes is establish control of the armrests early, get on first and claim them! Fat cunts tend to overhang their seats and spread into mine. " Excuse me, do you mind retracting yourself into your seat a bit you fucken great lump of blubber, look at you laying there like jabba the fucken' hut, drooling over the airline shit food and splattering me with it in your haste to stuff it down your maw. Fuck off before I stick a fucken harpoon in ya."
And as for the glorified waitress's, rude cunts most of them. It doesn't hurt to say gooday back to someone you stuck up mol, or maybe crack a smile. Well fuck you very much.
At home the dog and all the other wildlife seems to have managed to stay alive. Free range chooks lay the eggs, free range dog eats them. I fall into bed and sleep for 17 hours. Home sweet home.

5 Comments:

Blogger Arcturus said...

Hmmm... someone forgot to take his happy pills this morning...

I agree with you about airports. But I absolutely love flying -- with a window seat (not over the wind) and NO SCREAMING BABY anywhere within earshot.

Australia is about the size of the U.S. so I imagine, say, Syndey to Perth is about a 6 hour flight by jet?

Flying over the vast, mostly empty interior of the U.S. is kind of a strange, surreal experience.

9:35 AM  
Blogger rackorf said...

Yeh, window seats are the go. Perth to Sydney would be about 6 hours or so..if you get a direct flight - usually it blows out to about 10 with stopovers.

2:57 PM  
Blogger Arcturus said...

I meant "over the wing." Why do I make stupid mistakes like that? It musta been a Freudian ... or Jungian ... slip.

10 hours ...
"This is Queenland and Northern Teritorial Air Services (QANTAS??) flight 007 Sydney to Perth with stops in Coonabarabran ... Warrnambool ... Alice Springs (with connecting shuttles to Ayres Rock/Ulara and Rabbit Flat Store) ... Yalgoo ... Cocklebiddy ... and Perth..."

Sorry ... couldn't resist.

10:43 AM  
Blogger rackorf said...

Ahhh...Yalgoo, went through there a couple of months ago. Dead centre of the universe.
Meekatharra is the place to have a stopover and friendly interaction with the locals.

3:55 PM  
Blogger little things said...

Sounds like another planet entirely. My parents planned on moving to Australia from Las Vegas in 1970. In many ways, I wish they would have made the jump.

7:03 AM  

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