Don't know if this email I got was real or not, sounds like fun though....
Kmaxx store 4xxxxStore Phone: (775) xxxxxx
Sxxxxxx, Rxxx, xx, 89xx Pharmacy Phone: (775) xxxxxx
12 March 2005
Jon Wxxxx
Store Manager
Kxxrt store 4xxx
Sxxxx Rixxx Rxxx, xx, 89xx
Mrs. Fxxxxx
35 Raxxxxxx Street
MxxxxxPxxxx xxxxNxx, 89xxx
Dear Mrs. Fxxxx,
D
uring the preceding 6 months our security staff has been monitoring your husbands activities while in our store. The
list below details his offences, all of which have been verified by our surveillance cameras and we have retained copies
on tape.
We have repeatedly given your husband verbal warnings while he is in this store and he has subsequently ignored
them. He replied to these warning with rudeness and the response “while the wife shops here I will come here too”. We
are therefore forced to ban you, your husband and your family from this store.
The following list details your husbands activates in this store over the past six months.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares and watched what
happened.
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-buy.
September 14: Moved a 'Caution - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite the in if they'll bring pillows.
September 23: If any staff offers him assistance he begins to cry and asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?”
October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it a mirror, and picked his nose.
November 10: While in the gun department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna Look" using different size funnels.
December 18: Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO!
NO! It's those voices again!"
December 23: Went in the fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet
paper in here!
John F. Wxxxxx
Store Manager
Kmaxx store 4xxxxStore Phone: (775) xxxxxx
Sxxxxxx, Rxxx, xx, 89xx Pharmacy Phone: (775) xxxxxx
12 March 2005
Jon Wxxxx
Store Manager
Kxxrt store 4xxx
Sxxxx Rixxx Rxxx, xx, 89xx
Mrs. Fxxxxx
35 Raxxxxxx Street
MxxxxxPxxxx xxxxNxx, 89xxx
Dear Mrs. Fxxxx,
D
uring the preceding 6 months our security staff has been monitoring your husbands activities while in our store. The
list below details his offences, all of which have been verified by our surveillance cameras and we have retained copies
on tape.
We have repeatedly given your husband verbal warnings while he is in this store and he has subsequently ignored
them. He replied to these warning with rudeness and the response “while the wife shops here I will come here too”. We
are therefore forced to ban you, your husband and your family from this store.
The following list details your husbands activates in this store over the past six months.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares and watched what
happened.
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-buy.
September 14: Moved a 'Caution - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite the in if they'll bring pillows.
September 23: If any staff offers him assistance he begins to cry and asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?”
October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it a mirror, and picked his nose.
November 10: While in the gun department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna Look" using different size funnels.
December 18: Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO!
NO! It's those voices again!"
December 23: Went in the fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet
paper in here!
John F. Wxxxxx
Store Manager
posted by rackorf at 4:30 AM
5 Comments:
Sounds a little apocryphal to me, or at least a bit embellished. Actually, at some point the store would have enuf just to have the police charge him with harassment and disorderly conduct ...
What's up, Rackorf? You've been away a while. Are you out in the Australian bushy outback?
Well, DOES your husband do those things when you go shopping? :)
Hi arcturus, yeh i've been up north again - for work this time so not much great outdoors.
Hi little things,re infidelity just thought that i'd stir the pot a bit - i'm with you on this one. And no - no husband... i'm strictly for the ladies- and if they stay at home, as they should, they would not have the opportunity to be slutty.
Husband? Now Arcturus is confused...
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